I've been looking over paloma porta notes blog. My goodness there is a lot there! It is approximately decade ago since I wrote it as you have said. It's actually quite well done and does communicate. My memory has always been poor and "she" writes to me now with some ideas long since forgotten. Like the world is an "Internal Projection", and the "Awareness/Reality" thing (no separation). There are some useful pointers there. That's all these ramblings are: "pointing to the Moon" as the Buddhists say -which is not to be confused with the Moon itself. There is plenty there for you to get what I am saying - it's an opus that I feel I cannot really add to... paloma porta notes is enough!
It amuses and sometimes annoys me that I didn't write it in my own name. But that was the plan to take my ego out of it. By "ego" I mean the pride of ego or the self-aggrandisment within it. I didn't want to advertise myself, the real me living here, to the world as some sort of Guru. As she stated - to stay anonymous is to respect the message - there's no money or fame in it.
I know you have an alarming ability to absorb language - it's sort of scary what you know including knowing paloma porta notes better than I do!
I can only emphasise priorities now perhaps. Where and how one might focus to ... see The Sky more clearly.
Firstly I'd say -remember Paloma's references to being "Ruthless". There is determination required. Pushing thoughts away can be done easier with an elevated intention or will to do so. This is the Zen Masters' concept of fighting for Enlightenment and Vision like the drowning man seeking air. Don't mess about with it ! Forge ahead!
Second is to meditate or ponder (as you wish) from the viewpoint of "I am The Big Me", look from there. Don't start as many do from "I am little me trying to be Big Me" (they dont say it like that but you get the idea). Paloma would run this "I am Big Me" through as a thought experiment at first and it would develope into proper insight. Why start at the wrong end? lol.
Third - I am not sure. Probably relax - everything is okay ! See paloma porta notes -I'm sure she expanded on that.
I talk about Paloma in the third person - for fun - and because I can't remember half the stuff in the blog now!
I do remember these were difficult times. To see the world suddenly (in the space of 2 minutes after "sitting" for about 15 minutes) as one's own dream - a fabrication within oneself is a bit of a shock. All my core beliefs accumulated over five and half decades had popped. The was nothing to hang onto. It's pretty clear my mind was desperate to rewrite itself - to get some sort of working grip on what had mentally become the equivalent of jumping off a cliff and floating in mid-air! No gravity i.e. No beliefs about Anything!
There are some cool exercises in there - some interesting questions. My favourite perhaps is making the world seem two dimensional - removing the "over there" and "closeby here" labels from objects until the world flattened out and is "painted on my eyeballs" I think she might have said. After all -when we dreamt of walking across that meadow - was it in 3 dimensions or 2 ? - It could have been 2D, like Second Life or World Of Warcraft , Virtual Reality pc games are 2D on a flat screen , yet we imagine they are 3D. But no - paloma answers this with what our intuition tells us if I recall correctly.
Enough!
As for an update now. blog style. I should add to it as I think you suggested. It will probably feature my daily practise which is just to spend sometime sitting with the Zen writings or just stopping and looking.
To be honest I have plateau'd. I reached a point where no greater Glimpses into all this occurred. I am not a proper Guru like Ramana Maharshi - he seemed to "live there"! Maybe I am though: if I too live on an ashram, slept and ate, maybe I'd be less distracted by the life, western life.
I am the lion looking into the pond. What's the problem? It doesn't matter what thoughts arise that doubt or the problems and sufferings does it? Programming happens! "Habit energy" occurs!
There is something unresolved there in my thinking. I am not sure what but I can feel it. It might be something along the lines of not wanting to be God - there's no game doing that. Or it might be that I am a Bodhisattva -one of those people that refuse to leave samsara, the reincarnating, until the last sentient is free.
You speak like you have never considered this. Either way - I sincerely hope I have made your existence here in the Awareness Party a little less serious !
That's all for now
Namaste ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment