#22 Doing The Enlightenment Thing
Doing The Enlightenment Thing
And I have entered into my own scientific investigation from the absolute beginning -from
"Who am I?" and "What do I perceive?"
I started after I recently again experienced high stress,worry and mental suffering which at least was better than those times I have sat on my bed in utter despair.
And I decided that enough is enough -I am sick of the suffering.
You may not be in utter despair -you may be happy and joyful in your life.
But I strongly hold that there is NO prerequisite for doing the Enlightenment Thing.
I don't think one need be 'ready' or 'have had enough suffering' -these are all mental constructs.
Like anything though you got to want it - to have the intention - and I suppose the more you want it the more you will 'succeed' -but I hesitate even to say that.
Analogy:-You may not want to dig a large hole in your back garden -but if there's a pot of gold down there you might consider it - and the very poor person may dig with greater determination than the very rich person.
But it's more than gold down there ! It's several billion Dollars,Pounds or Euros of diamonds!!
Anyone can dig can't they?
All beliefs are in the mind -anything is possible
Spirit is the law and that's the only law there is. (my catch phrase!)
Research..and in my humble opinion...
I studied Gangaji, Papaji, Dolano and Eckhart Tolle on youtube videos...and a lifetime of spirtuality before that!All of them seem to teach and yet say there is nothing to teach - so watch out for beliefs they might seem to include mixed in with this. As I will go on to describe, being in "The Now" or an Enlightened Being (whatever that is) has no agenda and no truth that can be expressed or seen with the mind and thought..
They only have language to point to the thing so it's a tricky subject to communicate.
I feel sometimes what they say may arrive as a mental construct in you that wasn't what they were trying to say and that eroneous idea may become your truth -a truth they didn't mean.
eg "People are mad" Eckhart Tolle... which indirectly implies "You are mad" ...BUT..you have got to watch and read a lot of his stuff to see what he was getting at -what he really meant.
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Here's the work in progress notecard I have been sending to friends in SecondLife for feedback - it's a bit disordered but I like the overall communication so I don't want to change it. And I keep adding to it...I don't think everyone received it - that's the mystery of SL -things vanish!
Dear Friends...
this is a work in progress...and will end up on my blog eventually
Just putting you in the Loop
The thing is ..this is pursuant to my personal research - a scientific investigation
I started at the very beginning .
Without any the automatic acceptance of ANY preconceived idea
Even to include that 'just because I see a reality doesn't mean it exists'.
I stripped everything away and looked.
The Native American Indian tracker follows the signs, a footprint. a broken twig -he doesn't sit in the Wigwam and ponder "did the animal go to the lake or the mountains or maybe to the river" - He Looks and doesn't think.
So I ask myself
"What do I perceive?"
"Who am I ?"
["The Now" is a favoured expression by Eckhart Tolle and others..I use it here even though I don't know what it really means and that if I did , I might prefer calling it "This" as 'now' implies time which I have not found in the 'Nows' I have experienced! ]
lol: means 'laugh-out-loud' !
Getting into the Now
00. Quickly recap what we discussed..that things are not us , that thoughts are not us,that the mind is not us.Review the types of thoughts that there are....desire,beliefs,judgements,worries .etc
[see earlier postings with regards to 'thoughts are not me']
New ! lol...Review that "it is a book" and "that's a chair" are thoughts too.
0. Review that emotions also are not Me. I seem to be in emotions like a fish is in water -but they are not me.
1. Was that a thought?
The KEY action that's successful for me is to constantly and repeatedly ask
"Was that a thought?"
It's not that thoughts are wrong - some are valid - like "the house is on fire" LOL
but to keep labelling thoughts themselves as thoughts and NOT me,, really helps get the NOW thing going.
2. Tell your mind:-
"Everything is okay" (this from Elizabeth)
Then I could add...
"I am just going to meditate now for a few minutes and there's no need to worry or plan ahead.
This will not take long.
Just relax"
...something like that...LOL
3. With Eckhart Tolle's alert stillness look around.
Just look
But look with some determination at first to get into it ..use your intention to get into the Now.
4. . Just look .Perceive
You may want to look or smell or listen or touch something or pick something up.
whatever.
Just perceive.
5. No need to rush -just breathe into it.
6. Thoughts may come -that's okay.
7. If there's a problem in the Now..like the soup is boiling..or you need to drink or eat then do that and either carry on Perceiving ..or return to this later.
8. Keep an eye out for labelling objects with thoughts as we discussed. These are when the mind is entering into it.
9. Where are the apparent things perceived located?
Where are the things you perceive?
Is the mind labelling things with the thought
"That is over there"
"This is close to me"
"The sound is coming from a long way away"
etc
Is the idea of distance in this "New Now" that we are getting into (lol)...a thought?
10. More labels (thoughts describing or adding to things) to watch for:-
Re---- the type of perception experienced
ie Re----colours -smoothness-taste(salty)- loudness-quietness- etc sweet smells etc
"The cup is blue".
-The cup - is a thought - there is only perception -this we have established.
-The blueness/the colour ...also is a thought -there is only perception
JUST LOOK
JUST PERCEIVE
"The table is smooth" -.is a thought
The sound is loud -is a thought -its just the hearing - 'a sound' -is a thought
It seems that BEFORE the mind enters into it -
All I see are shapes and colours. Or, without the "I" - only shapes and colours are seen.
But I feel also at this time -there is some sort of undefinable 'knowing without thought' there also.
11. Be ruthless with just and only perceiving
12. Remember my plan is to Look only. Any 'obvious conclusions' seem to dwell in the mind as thought
13. Repeated..MY most successful action to get onto the "Now" is to watch thoughts and after one or many arise and subside ask
"Was that a thought?"
"Was that a thought-stream?"
The accompanying thought is "These are just thoughts,they are not me,their significance and meaning can be ignored at this time of meditation"
...some thoughts are attention grabbers and seductive and seem to aspire to create more thought -these are the most fun to see as just thoughts:
eg "Maybe I am not in the Now"
eg "Am I seeing a realty which just exists for me or also for others?"
They are all - forgive me -bs!
14. Where this is going...
a. I am developing a suspicion! that can be described by the thought or words:
'There is knowledge without thought' - this may seem obvious and has been a belief (a type of thought) of mine for years -but to experience it through perception only and not by deductive reasoning (thought) at all, is my quest!.... and that ... ' this knowledge may well be "The Truth" ' :))
b. time and distance seem not to exist here
c. So I ask myself
"What do I perceive?"
"Who am I ?"
d. Papaji's constant question to Gangaji was "Who are you?".
And I sort of know the answer ,I have read it and heard it on youtube which is "I am That"
BUT I want to experience it (if true) and besides it's just another thought!
15. Ongoing additions...
The Real Me is empty of thought; like a clear pool. Spotting the thoughts has become easy and I have had some frustration with' I don't want these thoughts'....but...is that a thought?..lol
Whatever happens in your world with thought just find your own truth with Who You Really Are.
You may agree that in the Real You there is no thought. Thought arise yes but they are not part of Me...like a table and chair set is not me - thoughts are not me
Meanwhile of course I had the thought that 'I am finding Peace' but of course the Real Me is in Peace -like the undisturbed clear pool.....Is "I'm finding Peace" a thought?!!!
But the 'self' which I am defining as the summation of thoughts -is experiencing Peace -the mind is settling down -but the Real Me is not the self .
I am not Paloma Porta ..lol.
I seem to see Paloma's mind though.
Again - I am alert and vigilant to seductive thoughts and feeling when there are none in the Real Me.
Is this working ? / Am I getting enlightened?/ etc/ etc/ etc/ all thoughts.
16. Occasionally I ask myself "Who am I?" per the above.
Currently I have looked and when I look I see no Me anywhere - and no separation between anything I see be it physical or mental.
Which feels like "I am everything". which is a concept my mind and deductive reasoning seems unable to reconcile!
17 Creating the mind
When I look what I actually see is ".........." lol I just see.
To say it's a cup or a bird call or a smell or smoothness or yellow or a sound or near or far or anything is a thought ---as I have said.
I am tempted to say "the mind comes in fast"
which is ,yes, is a thought - but also it is a creation of your mind or my mind and as such one perhaps is better off creating the mind as a groovy friend or 'spouse' as Elizabeth pointed out to me.
Don't create your mind as an enemy in this.
Many have said that the mind can be a great tool - this is not entirely my experience thus far -but I do feel it's best loved and not fought or feared. But then again I feel everything is best loved and not fought!
18. People watching.
I have had some insights from watching people. 'Insights' is the wrong word - because I was in the Now and thoughts via language seem off-target. 'Experience' maybe.
Parents and children are quite good to watch -the child running around kicking up dirt and smiling and the serious faced parents (not always) staring into space watching thoughts and missing the fun.
Flirting couples and 'young lovers' seem to be a high state of present time alertness...hehe...watch them and compare.
I am not looking for more mental explanations here - I am just looking.
19 Who am I? Where am I?
Immediately I started this I couldn't locate myself nor work out what I am.
There seemed only to be The perception. The Looking. The Hearing . The Touching. The Smelling (I smell nice-hehe)
So in all of the above I should edit sentences like "I am just looking" to "there is just the looking".
This is my truth not yours - and it's all getting very spooky.
20. Cars on the freeway.
The analogy of thoughts being like cars on the freeway works for me. One can observe cars(thoughts) wizzing by without envolvement or attachment - they have no meaning. Occassionally amongst traffic is the rotten old banger that limps past (a worry) and bright shiny Aston Martins (a smart deductive-reasoning type thought) both of which can grab ones attention... and perhaps start a thought stream.
21. Phew moments
I experience moments of adrenaline or fear or phewwww during this.
I will not offer more thought to why - though hypotheses come to mind.
That's my whole trust here - the looking without thought
or more acurately
The Looking.
The Perception.
...and what is perceived is "............." , ...er...er...what is perceived, as you know!!!
22. Spooky spooky spooky -hehe
I have said all the way through that thoughts and things are not me.
However :-
...and this is my truth:-
After thoughts subside and Looking there seems to be no "Me" !
And I am not sure where the me-I-cannot-find is either!
All there is is The Looking, The Perception.
There's no distance between anything.
And no time.
I begin to feel like what I am is the centre of a dream of my own manufacture - but that fails to describe it.
Shapes and colours that need the mind to rationalise it into a Reality -but that's not quite it either!
There is no separation between what is perceived and the ..er...me-that-I-cannot-find !
So suddenly I am everything seen, everything perceived. I am the thoughts also... (damn ...lol).
So I am everything which includes the 'old self' which now seems composed only of thoughts - a summation of thoughts that I had decided was me!
More and more it's just all me - which pops my little mind as you can imagine.
A thousand questions in the mind -all simply observed with -is this a thought?
The more unthinkable it is the better - hehehe.
When I get comfortable with this. Maybe I will be a Guru ...hahaha.
Find your own truth - please - I beg you.
love
By Jove, I think she's got it!
Paloma Porta
28th April 2012
