Final Summary of Arrogance is Bliss 5th Oct 16

Early October 2016

So I have not felt anything worthy to add for over a year. 
Now, however, there is something :-

On Acceptance

One is recognising that one already is that. (I am that)
There is nothing to do, to attain that. 
To seek something to do to attain it is to push it away!
One is already, for want of a better word...enlightened.

So one is accepting where one is (at), as regards the person that manifests in the world.
He or she may seems badly lacking or in need of improvement but as Alan Watts often said - how do we know what is good, or better, betterment.
He or she may be wanting both for a betterment as above and with desires.

But from above we know that we already are that and thus there is really no improvement required!
Therefore one is accepting the person we are now. 
Accepting the person with all their problems and issues and character defects.
Mindful that the judgment we place on the person and the person itself is all hot air, mere thoughts, buffoonery.
So one accepts the person we find ourselves living as both the ego and what has been called the "super-ego" that stands above the ego and judges it. It's all nonsense, arbitrary thought constructs.

Notice that acceptance in the self help spiritual community normally refers to accepting the environment and more specifically bad things that happen to us. 
But this whole construct is clearly flawed because the desire to change ones environment and the judgements upon which they are built and everything else in the thought world - is just something occuring.

So the key issue in acceptance is to accept the person one is living as. This person itself precedes, predates, and conceives the need arising to change ones environment.
We might accept the person as a priority and accepting the personal situations, bad things as we judge them and so forth all evaporate from there.

The metal processes, mentation, is a seductive and sneaky opponent (as it were).
The ego rises up to a higher self many times unnoticed and seems to claim ground for a new kind of "I" or "me" as soon as it has been reached.
One just needs to watch all this thunder and ballyhoo that occurs in the thought world and all the tricks separate out from the watcher or the watching.

Occasionally one seems to backslide into stress and thinking and trying to be more enlightened or whatever - but again this too can be ...laughed at! Backslide---ha!

Acceptance. I suppose I should add one needs to watch the acceptance as well - but this, though true in a way, is just dissappearing into some sort of mental deductive process perhaps.
Yes, the need to accept itself is just more foolishness, Buddhist ignorance.
As I said -One doesn't need to do anything.

Maybe die. LOL.
"When we die a little bit of God wakes up"  ( from Eric Dubay.)



My Path

So I started on solid ground. A solid ground of thoughts about the world. But over the years the ground became quick sand - I was sinking in depression.
A mountain of thoughts.
I can pursue the mountain theme thus:-

I started off then, standing on a mountain of thoughts. 
I heard about enlightenment or something and tried meditation.
I watched thoughts.
I was ruthless with thoughts and watched them.

And every thought seem to start to vanish.
No longer was I standing on a solid base of them but now rather like the desperate mountaineer clinging to a bleak vertical rockface and very high up too!
As my hand holds and foot hold increasingly vanished I started to feel a deep terror.
But I pushed on , watching thoughts, watching the key basic thoughts and constructs and to my dismay watching them vanish from my grasp.

Suddenly there were no more thoughts to hold on to.
Even the deepest doubts about this whole thing slipped away.
Nothing to hold onto
I was falling and felt very scared, a kind of terror.
The vertical mountain of thought was no longer there and had poofed with the entire mountain -  and I was in free fall.
But I looked down and there was no ground to hit beneath I was actually floating , not falling!
Floating in a sort of Void , a not thinking world of emptiness.
There was nothing there.

Over the next four years the mind or thoughts arose to the challenge and try to fill this Void.
Every conceivable notion or doubt or difficutly arose and it took perhaps writing this huge blog to expunge them.

Thoughts of all description that offered meanings explanations and problems with this and everything else!

Over four years the mountain tried to return but eventually I found myself again clinging desperatley onto the vertical rock face with hand holds (thought constructs, beliefs etc) rapidly vanishing.

And there was the void again. I kept meeting it and meeting it whenever the thoughts desisted.


At this time thoughts arise in the Void. They offer meaning but it is as if they are originating from a child - I listen for a second or two and then ignore them or more accurately they vanish.

I still feel the fear in the Void. It's a no parachute thing! 
But there is a Peace there that often arises instead of fear.

If I often fear the Godself - then God is scared of Himself also! Well, maybe sometimes. 
It's like coming across a large full length mirror unexpectedly - BOO! Oh it's me!
We suddenly see all of ourselves.

I have said before that enlightenment is just getting the mind not to worry about it -any of it - anything.
But to do that we have to re-write, re-structure our belief systems. The mind has to originate ideas that basically bounce you back into the Void. Having said that - nothing has or must be held as a thought construct and indeed mental certainty that one is not God or Buddhas nature and that all this is just pink and fluffy spiritual nonsense doesn't seem to matter also. One is always that. 

Final Summary of this entire work

Thoughts can be very seductive - try and stay out of it!

Who is this "I" in all the "I..." type thoughts?

Zen Student  :   "I have a question"
Zen Master   :   "Before you ask -who is asking?" 

Who is this "I" that has all the doubts and worries and questions and everything???
Have a look.
It's a ghost -you cannot point a stick at this "I". 
You will only find more thoughts that define it.
Thoughts that attempt to define a "you", the "I","me".

As the "I" type thoughts become exhausted you will be left with one:
"I am".
...and then who or what sees that?

But you will have to be very clever to do this. Ruthless even. One simply cannot dwell on a thought because staying there is to be lost.

But being lost is okay - it just really doesn't matter! 

I suppose this is Zen or Taoism.
I suppose it follows Ramana Marharshi (1879-1950)
or Nisargadatta (1897-1981)
or Alan Watts (1915-73).

I would add:

 "If you have found the truth and it is a thought - that's not it!"


Namaste.
Paloma Porta
5th October 2016